1.0 – Denial

To Whom It May Concern–

These are letters responding to a voicemail I received from my estranged mom (Rose) soon after she entered a drug rehabilitation center over 10 years ago. They are long overdue.

These are letters to an addict. These could potentially become viewed as crude, brusque, and vivid. As I build my voice it will start in a stage that is monotonous, self-involved, and trivial most of the time. It’s all in attempts to stay congruent to the tone of my growing relationship I’m attempting to carry on with her (my mom).

I want to discover the similarities I have with her. I will express what I have learned from her and other people and events. I will share with her my views. I know I can do so without fear of losing the love that she has for me. A love that I know will forever remain unconditional.

I appreciate your time here very much.

Warm regards,

Oie

P.S. A couple of years (and several posts) into writing this, I feel compelled to make some amendments to this introduction. This has largely become a venue for me to practice writing; for me to gain a more appropriate voice for sharing stories. Having focused so long on poetry, I have found myself constantly trying to use tropes and test my vocabulary.

A good critique (my own inner monologue, if I do say so myself) would suggest that the continued need to write these letters is a bit excessive. However, I recognize that this has been the best form of therapy for me. I am remaining compassionate, confused, chaotic, and true to my nature—without much fear of how unattractive that may be. I find positive resolutions to how I perceive things, and know that I am capable of doing that through my writings here. I enjoy learning about your perception of me in my development.  The commentary and/or support helps me alter my own understanding and mindset. Please always feel free to reach out and share anything you may want to make note of when reading these letters.