February 27, 2019 Dear Darkened Rose, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WOMAN!!!!!!!!! The other morning, as I got in the shower, this fear washed over me—"How possible is it that I will die today?!?" To say the least, my id mind can be such a drama queen. I think it's worth mentioning, though, that I can very distinctly… Read More "3.3 – Did You Stop Fearing Death?"
December 20, 2018 Dear Darkened Rose, I have been trying to keep my head down lately, but coming here to write to you is really the antithesis of that, isn't it? I can somewhat form this sense of linear progression here, and I really need that at times. My mind often views my life as… Read More "4.5 – Beating a Dead Horse Named Depression"
Dear Darkened Rose, I have missed you quietly and gently this past year. Lately, I have been consumed with trying to figure out how to “critically think” like a properly cultured human. I try finding conversations for gaining and sharing ideas. Usually, in failing to have done the latter, I purge with word vomiting sessions. […]
July 12, 2017 Dear Darkened Rose, You often mentioned your wish to donate your body to science, and I was always so proud of you for wanting that. It turns out, you never made plans for it. In our welter of grief, we did what was easiest for us when nothing was clarified in writing. I… Read More "3.1 – What Are You Doing With Your Body?"
June 15, 2017 Dear Darkened Rose, I know bloviating my stories from traveling may seem unnecessary. The fact that I just used the word bloviating may even be obnoxious. Writing to you about this creates this insecurity—about lacking modesty—that I feel, at the moment, I am able to neglect because I am so contented.… Read More "1.9 – San Francisco or Bust"
May 11, 2017 Dear Darkened Rose, There was a lot that I wanted to get across in my last letter. I realize now that I was not the most gentle in doing so. I neglected to make a few solid points. Your love for me was unique and remains unsurpassed. Duh. I often want to… Read More "5.1 – Smile A Little Smile For Me, Rose Marie"
April 13, 2017 Dear Darkened Rose, When referencing you, people often make note of how great and loving of a mother you were to the three of us. These people are also the ones who are quasi-unaware of the depths of your addictions. I smile in agreement to reciprocate comfort to people who need this… Read More "2.4 – Conclusion to my Illusion"
September 22, 2016 Dear Darkened Rose, I am visiting this stage again because I cannot pay attention to anything else. In the past three months, there have been scenarios left and right that heavily pulsated with sadness. I listen to my thoughts and to everyone's comments as they were parrotted at me. All of which sound similar… Read More "4.4 – Through My Family, I’ve survived."
June 8, 2016 Dear Darkened Rose, I believe this will take me a while to write, so I'm sorry for the delay. I need to talk to you about the Tiger thing again. So yes, it was just a single event happening a long time ago (deduced that it was the summer of 1997). It… Read More "2.2 – Junior"