January 17, 2016 Dear Darkened Rose, About mid-October I found this seed that I wanted to plant around the time of my birthday. It is a seed of sobriety. I decided to set this to be a goal of at least six months to start the year 2017 as healthily as possible. I went to the… Read More "2.3 – No Alcohol Beyond This Point"
June 20, 2019 Dear Darkened Rose, Over the past month, I have had the pleasure of being employed to watch Mr. Ian Blayne. Can you believe he’s a decade old, now? I have found so much enjoyment in this past month with being able to visit with the people I care about. Although, I can… Read More "4.6 – Addicted to Chaos"
May 12, 2019 Dear Darkened Rose, Happy Mother's Day, you beautiful woman! I am here writing to you when I probably shouldn't be. I most certainly should be focusing my attention on schoolwork until Wednesday, but I have just really felt that I needed to open this window today. So let's chat. A while back,… Read More "3.4 – What would I do if I had another moment with you?"
February 27, 2019 Dear Darkened Rose, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WOMAN!!!!!!!!! The other morning, as I got in the shower, this fear washed over me—"How possible is it that I will die today?!?" To say the least, my id mind can be such a drama queen. I think it's worth mentioning, though, that I can very distinctly… Read More "3.3 – Did You Stop Fearing Death?"
December 20, 2018 Dear Darkened Rose, I have been trying to keep my head down lately, but coming here to write to you is really the antithesis of that, isn't it? I can somewhat form this sense of linear progression here, and I really need that at times. My mind often views my life as… Read More "4.5 – Beating a Dead Horse Named Depression"
Dear Darkened Rose, I have missed you quietly and gently this past year. Lately, I have been consumed with trying to figure out how to “critically think” like a properly cultured human. I try finding conversations for gaining and sharing ideas. Usually, in failing to have done the latter, I purge with word vomiting sessions. […]
July 12, 2017 Dear Darkened Rose, You often mentioned your wish to donate your body to science, and I was always so proud of you for wanting that. It turns out, you never made plans for it. In our welter of grief, we did what was easiest for us when nothing was clarified in writing. I… Read More "3.1 – What Are You Doing With Your Body?"
June 15, 2017 Dear Darkened Rose, I know bloviating my stories from traveling may seem unnecessary. The fact that I just used the word bloviating may even be obnoxious. Writing to you about this creates this insecurity—about lacking modesty—that I feel, at the moment, I am able to neglect because I am so contented.… Read More "1.9 – San Francisco or Bust"
May 11, 2017 Dear Darkened Rose, There was a lot that I wanted to get across in my last letter. I realize now, I was not the most gentle in doing so. I neglected to make a few solid points. Your love for me was unique and remains unsurpassed. Duh. I often want to tell… Read More "5.1 – Smile A Little Smile For Me, Rose Marie"
April 13, 2017 Dear Darkened Rose, When referencing you, people often make note of how great and loving of a mother you were to the three of us. These people are also the ones who are quasi-unaware of the depths of your addictions. I smile in agreement to reciprocate comfort to people who need this… Read More "2.4 – Conclusion to my Illusion"